Roots of the Tree
I experienced severe physical abuse as an infant that left my body traumatized and broken in various parts.
I became a lonely child, always had difficulties to find friends, fit in and connect with others.
Craving for attention I became adept in extreme physical expressions.
I perceived my life as a struggle and believed that I am not like others and started to isolate myself with books, video games and would often not want to see anybody for the fear to be judged, valued not enough, weird etc.
I felt left out in every group I came into and one way or another always failed to achieve a relaxed mind & body towards new environments which would express itself in constant challenging of authorities and rules.
Always seeking fights, encountering conflict where ever I went and later developing heavy substance abuse added to my self reflection of a failing human being that is not worthy of appreciation, love and belonging.
The Deep End
My life boiled down to working, drugging, clubbing and surrendering to any form of excess.
At this point nothing worked anymore, I failed my studies, apprenticeships, relationship one after the other and days, weeks and months melted together to one nasty mud.
After a severe drug overdose, experiencing to be just so close to death and failing at the final exams to becoming a chef I knew I needed to get out of this mess and fast.
There was some place in my mind that still functioned and that knew
"Since it was you who got yourself into this mess, you can also get yourself out of it."
I decided to face my problems head on, since it was the only way I knew, and face my issues one after the other until none would be left.
I startet to travel and within little less than a year of traveling Central- and South America, my mindset and approaches started to change rapidly.
I came back and after finishing my studies and graduating first a certified chef and later personal and group fitness instructor, dedicated myself to do the work, no matter the costs.
I transformed abuse into exploration.
Exploration into appreciation and into cultivation of mind and body.
The bottom of low self-esteem into
confidence of my capabilities and after having proven on countless occasions, that I could master any obstacle.
Learning as much as possible and nourishing my dreams and finally taking action toward who I wanted to become.
I understood that I had to make active decisions to invest into my development, choose who I would want to be and act upon it rather than hoping for miracles to happen while sitting on my couch.
Understanding my mental issues, how I have built habits, believes, the way I learn, how I solve problems, eat, sleep and most of all how to combine all of these areas so that I could learn fast, using efficient methods, strong mindsets and routines that would never fail me at achieving what I wanted to.
I understood that all aspects of the our system have to be regarded in order to achieve greatness and much like just training one side of the body would result in a disbalance, only training your mind would never suffice.
I came to commit to simple, authentic ways of both east and west rather than colorful and elaborate methods that would never get me where I wanted to but sap huge amounts of hours and energy off of me.
And so I learned about Traditional Chinese medicine and how it integrates the natural flow of life into the 5 elements to better access my energies in foods and my physical structures.
I studied many forms of meditations and did long breathwork and Temperature immersions with Colombian and Canadian shamans.
I knew, having an extensive background in physical fitness would not be enough to satisfy my curiosity and so I kept on evolving my movement intelligence with Parkour, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and Barefoot Rock Climbing.
Finally I found that at the core of learning and the base of all knowledge is sharing it and after more and more people from where ever I was started to ask me how I would do the things they saw me do, I gradually created the foundation of what became the 5 pillar concept to any performance and committed full time to helping people create as much awareness around their bodies and their minds as I could.
The Fruits of long labors
Today I am honored to be able to train other coaches on performance, host workshops on primalistic movement patterns, team building and self-empowerment and creating transformational retreats all around the globe to help people integrate deep rooted traumas through physical and mental explorations.
If you have read this far, than you know that I am not the kind of person who does things half-ass and I appreciate you for taking the time to read my story.
I believe that nothing is more powerful than simple truth.
Discovering who I am to find more authenticity, communicate in a more genuine way and share my commitment to create awareness around our connection with nature and how harnessing our individual passion can help heal us as a whole.
I wish to explore, learn and teach. With "The Academy" I only recently started to build what is to become an extensive virtual library of podcasts, insights, routines & trainings and guided meditations to cover the 5 Pillars Performance System and make it available to everyone as a summary of what I have learned over the years.
As I am traveling the world I seek to learn and teach and share what is given and enjoy as much quality human connection as I can to move and bring people together.
Keep Exploring and learn more about my work